Fast Car
by MorbidMandy
Summary: City of Glass. Starts from right before Alec sees Magnus fighting the demons. My version of certain events. Songfic. Song: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. MALEC Yaoi.


**Okay, so this is my version of some parts of CoG. It's kind of like the book, but not entirely. :) The dialogue is mainly what changes. There's some definite desperate Alec in here, and a lot of mushyness. (:**

**I cannot recommend this song enough. Listen to it-please. This won't have the same impact if you don't.**

**I don't own anything.**

_You got a fast car,  
I wanna ticket to anywhere,  
Maybe we can make a deal,  
Maybe together we can get somewhere,_

Alec ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it didn't make any sense... this feeling of desperation that flowed through him. Before he'd met Magnus he'd _never_ felt this way. It would be so easy-so perfectly, perfectly easy-to blame this all on him.

Magnus made him feel worthless.

But he also made him feel amazing, perfect, absolutely... whole.

That was the trouble with love. As easy as it coddled it could cut. And that was what was happening. He'd called Magnus how many times? He'd told himself he would only leave one. Two. Five. Ten. Twenty. Fifty...

He'd sobbed his heart out on those messages, then yelled, then reasoned, then cried again...

And once again, like a knife through his heart... he _wanted_ Magnus. He _missed_ him. He...

He needed him.

_Any place is better,  
Startin' from zero, got nothin' to lose,  
Maybe we'll make somethin',  
Me myself I've got nothin' to prove._

Alec blinked back the tears that suddenly threatened to overspill. Where had they come from? But somewhere, down deep, he knew _exactly_ where they'd come from. They'd come from the same deep place the answer had. That dark little part inside him that knew that he loved Magnus. He loved Magnus more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life.

He rounded a corner, and then fell back. There was a dozen or so demons were in this small square, surrounding a figure Alec couldn't see. He wasn't an idiot, like Jace-he wasn't going to rush in and get himself killed. He had nothing to prove to anyone.

He wasn't going to try and die in a blaze of glory. Because he had to get through this, get to Brooklyn, and beat down that goddamned warlocks door until he _had_ to talk to him. He would even scare away his clients, standing in front of his door with his seraph blade out.

But his seraph blade would do him no good now. He would do better with his bow, maybe if he got up on one of those roofs...

He was contemplating where to start shooting first, when the demons parted, moving to show me the figure in the middle.

I had assumed it was a shadowhunter. Perhaps I would've known them, but most likely not.

I'd never expected...

_Magnus_.

It was like a jolt of electricity through Alec's body, hitting him deeply. But in the same instant he saw Magnus, he was moving.

He vaulted himself around the wall and quickly took down two of the demons. Magnus felled one, and the rest they took down together.

"Alec..." Magnus said the moment they were alone. They could hear more demons approaching, but they had this moment...

"You didn't call me back."

Yeah, that was possibly the most idiotic thing Alec had ever said. He'd just killed how many demons, and he was just seeing the man he loved, and all he could ask was... you didn't call me back?

"Alec-"

"You didn't call me back. I called a _lot_, Magnus. And I know you must've gotten my messages, because your machine never got filled."

"Alec, I-"

A loud roar diverted their attention.

"Damn it. Alec, can we _please_ talk about this later. Please? We need to get out of here."

_You got a fast car,  
I got a plan to get us outta here,  
Been working at a convenience store,  
Managed to save just a little bit of money _

"I've got a plan."

~space~

Alec stood beside Magnus, their bodies painfully close, yet the few inches of air that separated them were like miles... miles and miles...

Clary drew a rune on her skin, and Alec let his eyes close. He didn't particularly _dislike_ the redhead anymore. She just... she just sort of annoyed him a little bit. So he'd let her show off, and then he'd fight.

There was a collective gasp around the room, and Alec opened her eyes. What he saw... confused him.

Magnus stood at the dais where Clary had a second ago. In all of his sparkly, glittering glory. The sight of him made Alec's heart ache.

Yet when he looked beside him, Magnus stood there too. He looked back and forth between the two Magnus' in confusion.

Then the Magnus on the dais turned back into Clary, and she explained it.

Even though Alec had known that he loved Magnus...

It was shocking to him to realize...

He loved Magnus more than anyone else in the world.

_We won't have to drive to far,  
Just 'cross the border and into the city,  
You and I can both get jobs,  
And finally see what it means to be livin'._

Alec was a little broken, he thought, as he stood there.

There was something so perfectly poignant about tragedy. About the death of someone who couldn't fight back... it struck Alec and pulled him apart, letting him bleed out. But somewhere in the unbearable pain of Max's death, it...

It healed Alec.

It made him realize something he should have long ago. It was something that made everything... not okay, just... bearable.

All that matters is love.

People would die, people would fade... but love was always there, an eternal flame that consumed you from the inside out, destroying any shred of who you were before, and letting you be born anew.

Love was everything, love was the universe, love was...

All of these realizations made Alec's heart swell until he felt like smiling and laughing, even though everyone else would've looked at him like he was insane. Maybe he was.

He probably was.

_You see, my old man's got a problem,  
Lives with the bottle, that's the way it is  
He says his body's too old for workin',  
I say his body's too young to look like his,_

His parents wouldn't understand, that Alec was sure of. They wouldn't understand... why. How. How he could love Magnus.

But he would tell them... love doesn't have to make sense. It _doesn't_, most of the time. Because love is pure. It doesn't care that Magnus was a downworlder...

_My mama went off and left him,  
Wanted more from life than he could give,  
I said somebody's got to take care of him,  
So I quit school and that's what I did._

Maybe his family would disown him. Maybe the Clave would strip him of his Marks. Maybe he would have to live as a mundane.

Maybe that wouldn't be so bad... if he had Magnus.

_You got a fast car,  
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?  
We gotta make a decision,  
Leave tonight or live an' die this way_

Speaking of Magnus...

Where was he?

Isabelle was there too, now. She'd brought the Daylighter, what's-his-name. Sam, or something...

"Have you seen Magnus?" he asked Isabelle. She looked a little put out. She might have been talking.

"Haven't seen him, why?"

He made an impatient gesture with his hands. Couldn't she tell? He had to do this. It was symbolic-he wanted Magnus as his partner. In battle and in life.

"Are you going to ask him to be your partner!" Isabelle sounded like he'd just given her a _car_ or something.

"Yeah. Is that Magnus?" Alec peered over the head of a fairy.

"No. That's a werewolf. A _girl_ werewolf. What's-her-name. May."

"Maia."

Like Alec cared what the stupid werewolf's name was. Simon seemed to, though. And Isabelle seemed to care that Simon cared. Alec filed that bit of information away for later use.

Alec looked again for Magnus. He was pretty tall, and full of glitter, so he shouldn't be _that_ hard to find...

And there he was.

_So I remember when we were drivin',  
Drivin' in your car,  
Speeds so fast I felt like I was drunk,  
City lights lay out before us,_

Alec's heart sped up, and suddenly it was like he was just meeting him. Like Magnus was just slipping him his number, then writing it on his arm, then kissing him so hard and so deep and oh ANGEL, so perfectly.

Like everything was new again.

_And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder,  
And I, I had a feelin' that I belonged,  
And I, I had a feelin' I could be someone,  
Be someone, be someone._

He shoved his way through the crowd, nearly knocking over a werewolf in his haste to get to Magnus.

"Magnus."

Was that him? Alec wondered. Was his voice really that breathy, that happy? But no, it was him. And Magnus turned, his expression hard.

"Hello Shadowhunter. Alec, right?"

Alec was baffled. His face must have shown it, because Magnus' expression softened infinitesimally.

"Your parents. They're watching. Can't let on that we know each other, right?"

"Magnus, no, I-"

"Don't worry Alec," Magnus' voice sent shivers down Alec's spine, "I won't _out_ you."

_You got a fast car,  
We go cruisin' to entertain ourselves,  
You still ain't got a job,  
And I work in the market as a checkout girl,_

Alec was at a loss for words. Magnus really thought he was still worried about _that_? Was it possible that somehow everyone else hadn't gone through the same transformation/realization Alec had?

"N-No. I'm not worried about that. I wanted to know if you wanted to... y'know. Be partners?"

Magnus smiled then, but it didn't reach his eyes, "In battle? I suppose that would be... proper enough."

Alec marks himself first, hiding his face with his hair. How can he show Magnus what he wants, what he means?

_I know things will get better,  
You'll find work and I'll get promoted,  
And we'll move out of the shelter,  
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs._

Maybe if he just starts talking... maybe this time he won't just babble, maybe something coherent will come out.

"Magnus, I..." Why do the words fail him? He was so sure of himself before... but now...?

He carefully traced the matching Mark on Magnus' arm.

That's what re-clarifies it for him.

"Magnus... I don't care. About them. About _any_ of them. I don't care if... if my parents disown me, if the Clave strips me, I don't _care_."

"Why would your parents disown you?"

God, thought Alec, Magnus could be so dull sometimes.

_So I remember when we were drivin',  
Drivin' in your car,  
Speeds so fast I felt like I was drunk,  
City lights lay out before us,_

"Because... I'm not going to lie anymore. To anyone. To you. To myself. I don't love Jace, I never have and I never will. You're, you're my everything. I don't care what happens to me, because I can't live without you."

_And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder,  
And I, I had a feelin' that I belonged,  
And I, I had a feelin' I could be someone,  
Be someone, be someone._

For some reason Magnus still looked confused, so Alec plunged ahead.

"I know that I don't have any right to say this-none at all-but I want you. I know that it's probably too late, but I have to tell you. I love you-and it's irrational, and it doesn't make any sense, but Angel, Magnus, I don't care. I don't-"

"Alec-"

"Let me finish, Magnus, because I have to get this out. There's a pretty good chance that I'm going to die tonight. And Max already died. And life's short Magnus. I can't live without telling you this. You make me feel like maybe I'm worth something, because if someone as amazing as you can find anything redeeming in me, then I must be worth something.

"You're everything, you're the air and water and I love you. I love you, and I don't know why the HELL it took me this long to figure it out, because I'm going to die tonight without ever getting a chance to be with the man I love."

_You got a fast car,  
I got a job that pays all our bills,  
You stay out drinkin' late at the bar,  
See more of your friends than you do of your kids,_

"Alec, no you aren't."

_I'd always hoped for better,  
Thought maybe together, you and me'd find it,  
I got no plans, I ain't goin' nowhere,  
So take your fast car and keep on drivin'._

"No. No I'm not."

And Alec kissed him.

_So I remember when we were drivin',  
Drivin' in your car,  
Speeds so fast I felt like I was drunk,  
City lights lay out before us,_

And everyone saw.

And his mother, and his father, and his sister and his friends. They all saw.

_And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder,  
And I, I had a feelin' that I belonged,  
And I, I had a feelin' I could be someone,  
Be someone, be someone._

"I love you" Magnus whispered as they pulled apart.

"I love you." Alec whispered back. They stayed in each others arms, just smiling at each other.

"You really don't care about them?" Magnus nodded back towards where his parents stood.

"Nope." Alec smiled.

"Y'know... you aren't going to die today. I'll make sure of that."

Alec gave him a crooked smile, "You aren't omniscent, Magnus."

Magnus bent again, trailing his lips against Alec's.

"No... but I'll die for you Alec."

Their lips met again, sweet and gentle.

"And I'll die for you, Magnus."

"Then I suppose we'll both be dead. For each other."

Alec smiled and laughed, a loud, free laugh. There wasn't a hint of self-conciousness in it. His smile was big, broad, and happy. Anyone watching must've felt a swell of joy. How could you not?

_You got a fast car,  
Is it fast so you can fly away?_

"If you don't mind me asking-and I'm not complaining-why now, Alec?"

Alec thought of all of the answers he could give... answers about Max and about revelations and transformations... but there was something a lot simpler than that.

_You gotta make a decision,  
Leave tonight or live and die this way._

"All that matters is love."

**Okay, so this was kind of a stream-of-conciousness thing. I listened to the song on repeat and things came to me. There's a pretty good chance this is crap, but if you're reading this Authors Note, then there must be **_**something**_** redeeming about this.**

**So tell me if it was horrid and crap, but please be nice :) because I worked really hard on this (it took me approximately six hours with minimal breaks-longer than anything else, even the longest chapter of any of my other stories).**

**Review please! :D**


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